Post #326742 by The Gnomon on Mon, Aug 20, 2007 1:32 PM

If she is "born again" then she believes she was lost in darkness and but now "sees the light" and is likely a bit fanatical about her new found relationship with Christianity. While she was living in darkness, she would have loved your tikis, but now that she is born again, she finds your tikis to represent a kind of heathenism that is difficult to tolerate, and that tolerance is limited. The fact that an aficionado of heathen culture is married to her daughter is most disturbing, because she can't just rinse it off. She's now related to you. It won't matter if you get rid of all of your tiki things as long as she thinks you still appreciate them (although she would appreciate your doing so).

If I were you, I'd just extend as many invitations as it takes to get her over to your house enough to please your wife. I'd keep up with my tiki culture, adding to collections, build a tiki bar, whatever—and let my MIL get used to it. Having some insight into her mind set, I'd let her vent her usual complaints as if it was a fresh Pacific breeze blowing gently from off shore. If she can be lured into a Scorpion Bowl, I think I'd give that a try.

Ultimately, she does not have the right to unmake you and you have the natural duty to defend yourself as you are made. If it feels better to bend, then bend. If not, then don't, unless you don't mind letting others chip away at your identity until you are no longer you. All you can do is be yourself (being lovable helps, too). If people, including in-laws, can't handle that, they need therapy that is probably not your responsibility to provide.

But I think my first suggestion is still valid;

On 2007-08-17 07:29, The Gnomon wrote:
Born Again Christian? Tell her you and your wife are seriously considering converting to Islam, but the Tikis won't let you.

That's my 2½¢.

Rev. Gnomon, DD, PhD