Post #231953 by Satan's Sin on Sun, May 14, 2006 1:11 PM

A teacher tells her grade-school students to get a real-life story from each of their families that has some kind of moral or lesson.

Next day, the teacher quizzes her students.

Teacher: "All right, Susie. What's your story?"

Susie: "My mother raises chickens on the side. She had 12 eggs and promised 12 chickens to a neighbor, but only 10 hatched."

Teacher: "And what is the moral of the story?"

Susie: "Don't count your chickens before they hatch."

Teacher: "Excellent. Erin, what's your story?"

Erin: "We were going to throw away all our plastic bottles, but we took them to the recycler instead and got $8."

Teacher: "And what is the moral?"

Erin: "Waste not, want not."

Teacher: "Perfect. Billy, what is your story?"

Billy: "My dad says Uncle Bob was a fighter pilot in Vietnam. Well, Uncle Bob's plane got hit by a missile and so he had to bail out. On the way down in his parachute, he realized the big hip flask of whiskey he carried in his flight suit would probably break on landing. So Uncle Bob drank it all up and threw the bottle away. Then Uncle Bob lands in the jungle. Ten Viet Cong soldiers move in, aiming to capture him! Uncle Bob takes out his service pistol and shoots six of them dead! Out of ammo, Uncle Bob throws the pistol away and takes out his survival knife. He engages the surviving Viet Cong in a vicious, hand-to-hand combat, killing three of them before breaking off the blade in the chest of one of the Viet Cong! And the last Viet Cong? Why, he just throws down his gun and takes off into the jungle like a jackrabbit. Uncle Bob tears off after him, chasing him through the jungle and finally catching him in a rice paddy! And there, in the rice paddy, Uncle Bob strangles the Viet Cong to death with his bare hands!"

Teacher: "My God, that's an appalling story! What could possibly be the moral of that?"

Billy: "Don't fuck with Uncle Bob after he's been drinking."