Post #104278 by tikivixen on Mon, Jul 26, 2004 2:28 PM

I'd like to bring up a simple point. Pets such as cats and dogs and children differ simply in that pets--although they are not literally a part of you, created from your own flesh as your human children are--are capable of something most people of any age find difficult if not impossible...unconditional love.

And we all need that, hm?

Therefore, I feel that it's great to have both, for your child's sake and your own.

My testimonial: I remember all too well as a little kid when my dad was mad at me I'd go hug my kitty Jeremy and tell him my troubles. He'd always listen to me and lick my fact and purr and I would feel so much better. I know too that my dad got much the same kind of comfort from Jeremy when I was being a brat and saying lovely kid things like "I hate you, Daddy!"

Jeremy enriched both our lives.

For those who are not interested in having kids, animals provide particularly important companionship and love throughout life. For those with kids, the lessons animals can teach about unconditional love and trust are invaluable for both parents and kids. (And they teach responsibility too, I might add...if you can't even care for your cat, you'd better think twice about that baby!)

This leads me to another thought: dogs ARE more like kids than cats. They need more from you, and so, as posters above have observed, dogs manifest negative/abusive/neglectful parenting in their behavior just as kids do. Hence, seeing if you can make time for a dog in your life might be a good way of working up to a kid for those who have doubts about the subject. :wink:

John, I don't think taking classes and educating yourself about childbirth and childrearing before you have kids is a bad idea! I don't know about requiring it legally, but I do think that since we as a society have seen such an erosion of the supportive family structure in recent generations, creating that kind of environment through other means is very positive indeed.

I've had several friends give birth for the first time in their thirties, and the worst thing for them was feeling so alone in it--hubby off at work, many friends childless, other friends who do have kids living far away, working themselves, whatever, no mom or aunts or sisters nearby to help and teach. Sheer loneliness a lot of the time (no matter how much you love your kids, they are not the greatest conversationalists for quite a few years!) until they learned to network with other moms in the same boat.

And, I might add, those friends of mine are all very glad they did so much research beforehand. I sure as heck will if my time ever comes.

One last thought: someone above said they'd never heard anyone with kids compare the loss of a pet to the loss of a child. That statement is meaningless to me. My friend Erica, for example, loves her animals and her child with equal intensity, but recognizes that they're just inherently different kinds of loves.

In other words, I wouldn't use the word "compare". The point is, love is love. There's no need to play "my love is better than your love." There are parents out there who hate their kids, and pet owners who would die for their animals. To each his own; but what I love equally to see is a good, responsible parent raising their child with love and attention and respect, and a good, responsible pet owner wholeheartedly returning the unconditional love and loyalty their critter gives them.

This is a fascinating and worthwhile thread. Thanks so much to everyone who's contributed.

Lisa aka tikivixen